“This Doesn’t Count,” And Other Ways People Invalidate My Bisexuality

This doesn’t count, I would think as my heart thundered in my chest. This doesn’t count, I would tell myself as my lungs caught tight. This doesn’t count, I would tell myself, even as my hips shifted restlessly and my skin felt like fire. Why doesn’t this count?

If I had never realized that I am bisexual, had never even considered it as an option, I wonder if it would have been easier for me. Not easier on a wider scale, of course, not discrimination-wise, safety-wise, legal-marriage-wise. Just as far as knowing myself and where I fit.

My first kiss was real, and so am I.